christmas time

well its almost christmas time... weird feelings come over me as it gets so close. this time last year, i wasnt talking to either of my parents, didnt go see them for christmas or new years... they hated me... well i shouldnt say they, my dad... we had got into it over stupid shit for as long as i can remember and i guess it was mid december last year where i was at my grandma's on the phone with him and we got into it over something stupid... i dont even remember... but i walked out. hung up the phone, took the keys to my truck and left them on my grandma's counter so he couldnt say i stole the truck since he paid the insurance on it, and walked... keep in mind my grandma livesin the middle of nowhere rural arkansas. her house is like 2.5 miles away from the nearest street light. i walked about 3 miles into town where i had shaun pick me up. all i had was a back pack with some clean underwear, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and an extra set of jeans and a couple t shirts. im so thankful i had a friend to come and get me... i was heated. my grandma was pissed off at my dad because he was wrong... he said i did a whole bunch of stuff that i just didnt do. he was calling me all kinds of names, and i just snapped... i guess it had all built up over the years. my grandma came looking for me... its hard to miss low and high beams off a new lexus when its pitch black outside... i didnt want to be found. i actually laid down in a ditch just inches out of water so she couldnt see me... she called my cell phone countless times... my mom called countless times... my dad... not once. i would say the phone pattern was the same for the next week or so...anyone who knows me knows the history about cellphones, me and my father... i was staying with shaun and if i wasnt... i would have been homeless i guess. i didnt care at that point. i didnt have a means of transportation... im glad i guess that i had just finished taking finals for school. and shaun... im sure you're reading this and i want to thank you for everything you've done for me driving from memphis to come and get me wasnt something you had to do... thank you again. im starting to get kinda pissed off writing this, so i guess i'll stop. maybe i'll finish later